RUSSIAN WEIRDO REFUSES MATH PRIZE, NO ONE CARES

Dr. Bravishonyezhneskiy giving his opinion to the Fields Medal committee.

MADRID, Spain - A reclusive Russian lunatic won the math world's highest honor Tuesday for solving a problem that has stumped some of the discipline's greatest minds for a century — then told the awards committee to shove it up the nearest four-dimensional toroid they could find, namely, their asses. Because the prize is awarded in an area which has no practical applications, no one cared.

Ivan Bravishonyezhneskiy, a 40-year-old native of St. Petersburg, won a Fields Medal — the same one featured in that movie with Robin Williams and Matt Damon where Damon is this f***ing brainiac with a bad attitude who is trying to get this chick and everybody tells him what a genius he is. You know the one.

Maybe Bravishonyezhneskiy saw the movie, because he told the International Mathematical Union that he's always felt isolated from the mathematics community and, "could give a rat's ass about their stupid award. I mean, now one cares!" Back in his teens, when he was attending the School For Ridiculously Gifted Mathematicians in Cleveland, Ohio, the other students would put gum in his hair and call him "pizza face."

Along with refusing the Fields Medal, which comes with a sweet thirteen thousand dollars, Bravishonyezhneskiy has also hinted that when the mathematical union's International Congress of Mathematicians rolls around, they can keep the $1 million prize he could score for proving the Krnithys Conjecture, a theorem about the nature of multidimensional space found inside a can of Van Camp's pork and beans.

King Juan Carlos, famous taco stand entrepreneur, handed out the Fields Medals this year to everybody but Bravishonyezhneskiy. "I regret that Dr. Bravishonyezhneskiy has declined to accept the medal," King Carlos said. "I guess he thinks he's too good for it, or something."

Bravishonyezhneskiy's work is still under review, but no one has found any serious flaw in it because he showed all of his work in the margins, the math union said in a statement.

Bravishonyezhneskiy basically proved that unless you were Superman or some other sh*t, in three dimensions you cannot transform a doughnut shape into a sphere without ripping it, although any shape without a hole can be stretched or shrunk into a sphere. This might seem obvious to anybody with half a brain, but the proof gives mathematical descriptions of what the universe might look like if you were God, or maybe an angel or leprechaun.

"Of course, I was working on the same thing when this guy's paper came out" said Oxford University math professor Marcus du Sautoy. "But that's just f***ing typical. Nine years of sweating my ass off and some guy pops out of nowhere with the proof. Well, f*** him."

Academics have been studying Bravishonyezhneskiy's proof since he left the first of three papers and a naked picture of Alyssa Milano on a math Web site in November 2002. Normal procedure would have been to seek publication in a peer-approved journal, but Bravishonyezhneskiy apparently didn't want to go through all that bullsh*t.

Bravishonyezhneskiy is believed to live with his mother and seven chimpanzees in St. Petersburg. Repeated calls over many days to a telephone number listed as Nummerman's went unanswered. Acquaintances and other primates refused to give out his address or the number they use to contact him, saying he went out to get some bananas and they didn't know when he'd be back.

Original Article & Source: UnNews

HILARIOUS FATE STAY NIGHT DOUJIN

As with any anime series with a strong fanbase, Fate Stay Night's popularity tend to warrant itself plenty of doujin (fanfic) floods consisting of humorous or otherwise erotic parodies. Of course, since I want to keep this blog as worksafe (O'RLY?) for as much as possible, the ones I'm posting here are that of non-erotic doujins. After trolling through Waka's Type-Moon* imageboard section, I stumbled upon this really hilarious FSN doujin that wins serious Internets and because I don't have any kind of ideas for original contents to post in my next blog entry right now, I figure it's best to post something rather than leaving my blog as an unupdated ghost town. Laugh your guts out, readers.

*Type-Moon is the company responsible behind Fate Stay Night as well as their earlier works, Shingetsutan Tsukihime.


Gilgamesh tells Kotomine that he wants a little sister. (;ﾟДﾟ)


Guess who was chosen as the unfortunate candidate for Gil's request: Lancer? Ouch!


And with a single command spell, Lancer was turned into an inverse trap.


OH SHI- ∑(￣□￣;) Gil x inverse trap Lancer raep time!
Meanwhile, Shiro and the gang are on their way to meet Kotomine.


Hay guys, what's goin'...


This is seriously fcuked and beyond human comprehension.


ROFLMAO@Ranma 1/2 reference. (^_^;)
Doujin ends here.

RANDOM YOUTUBE OF THE DAY:

Chiyo-Chan's dad is Paladin Anderson.

THIS IS WHAT REALLY KILLED STEVE IRWIN

"Developed by the USMC, Metal Gear RAY differs from previous Metal Gears in that it is not a nuclear launch platform, but instead a weapon of conventional warfare, originally designed to hunt down and destroy the many derivatives of Metal Gear REX that became common after the leak of the REX plans after the events of Shadow Moses. It is designed to be even more maneuverable and flexible in deployment than the REX, and can operate both on land and in the water. (Underwater, it is propelled by engines of unknown form in its two bulbous "wings".) While RAY has a pair of machine guns and six missile tubes to defend itself from more conventional battlefield threats, its primary weapon is a powerful water jet, which can cut through heavily-armored foes, such as Metal Gear REX clones.

RAY's interior workings are also much more organic. It has artificial fibers that contract when electricity is applied, much like natural muscle, instead of typical hydraulics; this pseudo-muscle tissue makes it very maneuverable. It also has a nervous-system-like system of conductive nanotubes, which connect the widely dispersed sensor systems and relay commands from the cockpit to the various parts of RAY's body, automatically bypassing damaged systems and rerouting to auxiliary systems when needed. Another feature is its blood-like armor-repair nanopaste, which is secreted from valves whenever the exterior surface is damaged. Particularly unusual is its "face", with two "eyes" and a gaping "mouth", only seen when the head armor is removed.

This version is labeled "MARINES", and has a cockpit (accommodating a single pilot) and a long tail. The RAY is an amphibious craft which allows for maneuverability in land and at sea-- the long tail is intended for balance while making leaps or operating underwater. The entirety of the forward interior of the cockpit is a heads-up display (HUD), allowing the pilot to look around as if there were no obstruction between him and the battlefield. Unlike REX, which had its exterior sensor concentrated in a single, vulnerable radome, the sensors (including cameras, radar emitters, and an array of passive detection sensors) are distributed throughout the body."

Taken and edited from: Answers.com

REASONS WHICH LED TO STEVE IRWIN'S DEMISE:
1. Improper gear loadout.
- During his confrontation with RAY, Irwin is thought to be missing two very important items necessary should one is required to take out a Metal Gear:

a) Stinger Missile Launcher

True that one cannot expect to destroy a purely destructive armored behemoth without first packing enough firepower to destroy a whole MBT column. In this case, the Stinger missile launcher is considered as one of the best weapons when going mano-e-mano against Metal Gears. Even though Stingers were primarily developed to counter and destroy aerial threats, the warhead's armor-piercing capability gave it enough strength to punch through even the thickest armor of just about any heavily-armored vehicle in existence no matter the size or shape.

b) Ration

A soldier, no matter how elite or badass he is, will be rendered pratically weak and useless once hunger sets in. Therefore, it is important for one to ensure his daily nutritional needs are fulfilled and balanced to keep him going even when confronted against the most advanced bipedal tactical nuclear weapon. In this case, one must always keep a Ration handy at all times. One very helpful tip when trying to survive a fight against Metal Gear is to equip the Ration as one of your equipment, much as equipping a weapon in hand. Should your health reaches zero with the Ration equipped, you will be instantly revived in full health, thus enabling you to survive and outlast whatever Metal Gear you're fighting against. Unfortunately, this was not the case in Steve Irwin's epic battle against the armored titan itself.

2. Inadequate support crew.
Irwin's support vessel, Croc One, was not equipped nor was intended for anti-Metal Gear warfare and countermeasure against Metal Gear. Also, the vessel itself lacks proper military-grade tactical communications equipment. None of its crews above the vessel had any military experience or knowledge of Metal Gears and therefore were unable to provide Irwin with necessary information or survival methods during his heroic struggle against RAY when Irwin radioed in for help. The crew were also thought to be unable to provide Irwin with the correct radio transmission which enables him to save his progress before the fight began.

3. Failing to master this one very important technique.
See picture.

Based on this thread in 4Chan:


RANDOM IMAGE OF THE DAY:
Gentlemen... behold! CORN!

STEVE IRWIN - RIP (1962-2006)

World famous wildlife warrior Steve Irwin has died in a freak accident on the Great Barrier Reef, killed by a stingray barb which pierced his chest.

Friends believe the Crocodile Hunter, 44, may have died instantly when struck by the stingray while filming a sequence for his eight-year-old daughter Bindi's new TV series.

The TV star and naturalist's final, fatal confrontation with a wild animal occurred in shallow water at Batt Reef off Port Douglas on Monday morning.

Unconscious, he was pulled aboard his research vessel, Croc One, for a 30-minute dash to Low Isle, where an emergency helicopter had been summoned at about 11am, his Australia Zoo said in a statement.

The crew of the Croc One performed constant CPR during the voyage to Low Isle, but medical staff pronounced Mr Irwin dead about noon.

Mr Irwin's death was only the third known stingray death in Australian waters, said shark and stingray expert Victoria Brims.

Wildlife experts said the normally passive creatures only sting in defence, striking with a bayonet-like barb when they feel threatened or are trodden on.

Those with Mr Irwin say he was swimming in shallow water, snorkelling as his cameraman filmed large bull rays.

"He came over the top of a stingray and the stingray's barb went up and went into his chest and put a hole into his heart," said Mr Irwin's friend and manager John Stainton.

Mr Stainton said he and Mr Irwin were in north Queensland to film a new documentary called Ocean's Deadliest.

"It's likely that he possibly died instantly when the barb hit him, and I don't think that he ... felt any pain.

"He died doing what he loved best."

Mr Irwin's body was flown to a morgue in Cairns, where stunned family and friends were gathering on Monday night.

His American-born wife Terri was told of her husband's death while on a walking tour in Tasmania, and has returned to the Sunshine Coast with her two children, Bindi and three-year-old son Bob.

The death of the larger than life Mr Irwin, best known for his catchcry "Crikey!", caused shockwaves around the world, leading TV bulletins in the United States and Britain.

He was one of Australia's best known personalities internationally and a valuable ambassador for the nation and its wildlife.

Mr Irwin was also a global phenomenon, making almost 50 documentaries which appeared on the cable TV channel Animal Planet, and which generated books, interactive games and even toy action figures.

Prime Minister John Howard, once lauded by Mr Irwin as the world's greatest leader, said: "I am quite shocked and distressed at Steve Irwin's sudden, untimely and freakish death. It's a huge loss to Australia.

"He was a wonderful character. He was a passionate environmentalist. He brought joy and entertainment and excitement to millions of people."

"He was a great Australian," added Tourism Australia chairman Tim Fischer.

Mourners laid flowers at the entrance of Mr Irwin's Australia Zoo, on Queensland's Sunshine Coast.

Mr Stainton said bad weather had stopped filming for their documentary about some of the world's deadliest sea creatures.

Mr Irwin instead decided on a whim to shoot footage for his daughter Bindi's upcoming series.

"He said 'I might just go off and shoot some segments for Bindi's show, just stuff on the reef and little animals," Mr Stainton said.

"I just said fine, anything that would keep him moving and keep his adrenalin going.

"The next thing I heard on the radio was there was a medical emergency, the little dinghy he was in was bringing him back with the crew.

"Everyone tried absolutely tirelessly to revive him to keep him alive, we cut dinghies loose and made it post haste to Low Isle where we knew the chopper would be able to get in, but I think it's possible he probably died at 11am."

Marine documentary maker Ben Cropp said he had spoken to one of Mr Irwin's production crew.

"Steve got probably maybe a bit too close to the ray, and with the cameraman in front, the ray must have felt sort of cornered.

"It went into a defensive mode, stopped, turned around and lashed out with its tail, which has a considerable spike on it.

"Unfortunately Steve was directly in its path and he took a fatal wound."

University of Melbourne expert Bryan Fry said stingrays only sting in defence.

"Stingrays only sting in defence; they're not aggressive animals so the animal must have felt threatened. It didn't sting out of aggression, it stung out of fear," said Dr Fry, deputy director of the Australian Venom Research.

He said the stingray would have been up to 2.5 metres across, with a "formidable" jagged barb up to 20cm long, capable of tearing flesh. But the stingray's venom would not have been a factor.

Mr Irwin was comfortable around animals, no matter how dangerous, and some wildlife experts warned he took too many risks.

"(But) nothing would ever scare Steve or would worry him. He didn't have a fear of death at all," Mr Stainton said on Monday.

Mr Irwin's enthusiasm and daring made him famous.

The Melbourne-born father of two's Crocodile Hunter program was first broadcast in 1992 and has been shown around the world on cable network Discovery.

He also starred in movies and helped developed the Australia Zoo wildlife park, north of Brisbane, which was started by his parents Bob and Lyn Irwin.

He grew up near crocodiles, trapping and removing them from populated areas and releasing them in his parents' park, which he took over in 1991.

Bob was involved in a controversial incident in January 2004, when his father held his infant son in one arm as he fed a dead chicken to a crocodile at Australia Zoo.

Child welfare and animal rights groups criticised his actions as irresponsible and tantamount to child abuse.

Mr Irwin said any danger to his son was only a perceived danger and that he was in complete control of the situation.

In June 2004, Mr Irwin came under fire again when it was alleged he came too close to and disturbed some whales, seals and penguins while filming a documentary in Antarctica.

Mr Irwin had close links with Mr Howard and was a guest at The Lodge during a function for US President George W Bush in 2003.

Mr Irwin was also a tourism ambassador and was heavily involved in last year's "G'Day LA" tourism campaign.

Queensland Premier Peter Beattie said Mr Irwin was an "extraordinary man".

"He has made an enormous difference to his state and his country," he said.

News Source: The Age

Rest in peace mate. The world had just lost a bloody awesome bloke. Probably the few person in this world that I consider irreplaceable.

Wikipedia Info on Steve Irwin