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YOU CAN'T DIVIDE BY ZERO!
...but schoolkids in Caversham, Berkshire UK had already did that. OH SHI- YOU CAN'T...


1200-Year-Old Problem 'Easy'
Schoolchildren from Caversham have become the first to learn a brand new theory that dividing by zero is possible using a new number - 'nullity'. But the suggestion has left many mathematicians cold. Dr James Anderson, from the University of Reading's computer science department, says his new theorem solves an extremely important problem - the problem of nothing.

"Imagine you're landing on an aeroplane and the automatic pilot's working," he suggests. "If it divides by zero and the computer stops working - you're in big trouble. If your heart pacemaker divides by zero, you're dead." Computers simply cannot divide by zero. Try it on your calculator and you'll get an error message.

But Dr Anderson has come up with a theory that proposes a new number - 'nullity' - which sits outside the conventional number line (stretching from negative infinity, through zero, to positive infinity).

'Quite Cool'
The theory of nullity is set to make all kinds of sums possible that, previously, scientists and computers couldn't work around.

"We've just solved a problem that hasn't been solved for twelve hundred years - and it's that easy," proclaims Dr Anderson having demonstrated his solution on a whiteboard at Highdown School, in Emmer Green.

"It was confusing at first, but I think I've got it. Just about," said one pupil. "We're the first schoolkids to be able to do it - that's quite cool," added another. Despite being a problem tackled by the famous mathematicians Newton and Pythagoras without success, it seems the Year 10 children at Highdown now know their nullity.

News Source: BBC

So what is your opinion? Let earth accept its fate sealed by the introduction of 'nullity' and suffer total Armageddon or condemn it as heresy and prevent earth's mandatory destruction upon dividing zero? Have your say on the news article's comment section.

Other External Sources:
Wikipedia - Division by Zero
A Simulated Example of Divided by Zero

Technorati tags: Blog, Comedy, Divided By Zero, Hangmen, Humor, Mathematics, Memes, Superior Internet Content.

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One-Six Ops

DEADLY 'IKU IKU BYO' REACHES A CLIMAX

"Even the vibration of my mobile phone is enough to set me off," she says. "My friend said there's something called Iku Iku byo (Cum Cum Disease). I guess I've got that."

What may be afflicting these women, the best-selling weekly says, is an ailment called persistent sexual arousal syndrome (PSAS).

PSAS has been described as an affliction that brings about orgasm through the slightest of jolts regardless of whether they're aroused, or even thinking about sex. What's more, orgasms experienced by PSAS sufferers are not just momentary phenomena, instead affecting women over anywhere from a few days to a week, with one reported case seeing 300 orgasms in a single day.

Awareness in Japan of PSAS -- which was first documented by Dr. Sandra Leiblum in the United States five years ago -- is growing, especially in the blogsphere, where it is being called Iku Iku byo.

Hideo Yamanaka, a doctor at the Toranomon Hibiya Clinic in Tokyo says the disease can be debilitating.

"For women to orgasm, they need to have some sort of sexual stimulation. There are nerves around the female genitals which react to sexual stimulation. The body gradually builds up to a crescendo, that ascends to a climax," the doctor tells Shukan Post. "However, with this disease, women are mysteriously reaching climax without any external sexual stimulation at all. One possible cause that I can think of is an irregularity in the sensory nerves."

PSAS discover Leiblum says that the disease has a tendency to strike post-menopausal women in their 40s and 50s or those who've undergone hormonal treatment. But she adds that there have also been cases reported among women in their 30s, stressing that too little is known about the syndrome to pinpoint anything and adds that the nature of the ailment means that many sufferers may be too ashamed to report it.

PSAS numbers in the U.S. are high enough for support groups to have popped up, suggesting it won't be too long before Japan sees the same.

"Awareness levels are still too low," Jeannie Allen, the head of PSAS Support, tells Shukan Post. "I think there's a strong possibility that there are Japanese patients."

Manga artist Akira Narita, who says he has slept with over 1,000 different women (O_O"), says he has come across some he believes may have had PSAS.

"There must have been about 15 who came without me doing a thing. We'd only need to stare in each other's eyes and they'd start wiggling about, gripping tightly onto whatever was around them and their bodies would start to shake. There were others who'd orgasm repeatedly just because I'd stroked their hands," the self-professed sexpert says. "I'd always thought of these women as types who got off in their minds, but I think perhaps they may have had PSAS."

Full article in this link (click here)
Additional Read: Wikipedia
Random semi-related images added for decorative purposes only. All images used have been scanned for signs of excessive contents and has been assured that none of the images exhibits any particular traits or features which may deemed its status as pornographic in nature despite its suggestive contents. Therefore, these images fall under the category of 'borderline' images, or more accurately, Ecchi.

OH SHI-, our fantasies from Hentai animes and mangas came true, literally!

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Side B
One-Six Ops

I HAVE SUMMONED BOB ROSS!

The time has come.
Seven magicians known as 'Masters' will participate.
Seven Servants from seven separate classes will serve them...
Crossing swords with each other for the one and only Holy Grail.
That's... the war for the Holy Grail.
The 5 1/4 Holy Grail War has finally begun!



"I command thee...
Thou shalt come forth to my side.
Thy sword shalt control my fate.
Abiding by the Holy Grail's haven,
If thou accedest to this will and reason, then answer me.
The oath set forth here,
I am the embodiment of good in the eternal world.
I am the disposer of evil in the eternal world.
Thee, the seven heavens that bear the great trinity,
Come forth from the circle of constraint.
O, guardian of the balance!"

....

I have, without doubt, drawn the best card I could.


BEHOLD!
Servant Name: ARTISAN
True Name: Bob Ross (commonly known as "the white guy with an afro")
Gender: Male
Height & Weight: Dunno; as large and heavy as the USS Enterprise maybe
Attribute: Divine Good
Strength: EX
Endurance: EX
Agility: A-
Mana: EX
Luck: ?
Noble Phantasm: EX++

NOBLE PHANTASMS
Popular American Television Show: The Joy of Painting
Rank: EX++
Type: Support + Anti-Universe.
Similar to Archer's Reality Marble aka Innate Bounded Field, this Noble Phantasm is an extremely rare high-class type of sorcery that creates an enclosed separate reality that is a physical representation of a user's soul. Artisan's version however, features an enclosed environment with studiolights decorating the skies and a simple, minimalist background.

In his Reality Marble, lay an infinite number of blank canvas of which Artisan could exploit, in which its potential to unleash whatever Artisan desires is limited only to what Artisan could think of, and the power of an Artisan's imagination is a force to be reckoned with. Say he wanted a nice Laotian baby club sandwich topped with finely-sliced tomatoes, fresh Mexican jalapenos and finely-toasted durian seeds, he would simply use a canvas, draws it with the help of his imagination and it will materialize into physical form by itself.

If it wasn't for Artisan's uncanny ability of controlling and manipulating the strength of the Noble Phantasm the way he sees fit, the whole universe would have met a similar end as what happened on the episode finale of Space Runaway Ideon.

TRUE IDENTITY
Artisan's true identity is that of Bob Ross, the legendary Demigod and hero of ancient times who, roughly around 476AD to 1000AD, created the Dark Ages when he ran out of Titanium White paint. The man that became the myth behind the legend of the mysterious conundrum that is the star of smash hit TV show The Joy of Killing, and the happy tree painter we came to know him as, was born in 1928 to a Laotian immigrant mother, and to his father, Rambo. As witnessed by the TV show promotional photo, he definitely favored his father, more than his mother. His childhood was tumultuous, and, being raised in Laotia (the land of the Laotians), he developed an extreme distaste for their recently invented "farmed foods", and picked up the socially frowned upon, though not illegal, practice of eating whole, live, Laotian babies.

Bob's years of eating Laotian babies led, naturally, to a Hollywood TV show producer recognizing his innate acting abilities, and within a few more years, with a lot of effort, hardwork, ingenuity, and bowls of Laotian Baby Stew, Bob landed a lead acting role as the Vietnamese killing maniac, in The Joy of Killing. The producer reasoned that because of Bob's experience in Laotian Baby Eating, that he could transition easily into the role required for the part. The show became a world-wide smash hit, airing in remote sections of Africa that can only receive TV signals via prayer to God.

As his notoriety in baby-eating grew, it raised more and more concerns and condemnation from the International Community which eventually led to the creation of United Nations (UN) Resolution 3457 which forbids, barred and sanctioned Bob Ross from continuing the consumption of fresh babies. 191 out of 192 of the UN's member states gave their support for the Resolution to be passed, with the exception of Laos whom abstained due to "cultural sensitivities".

Exiled from human society, Bob Ross spent the last few years of his life in a lakeside villa built at an undisclosed location (clue: USSR), feeding on whatever that was left of yesteryear's supply of frozen Laotian babies in his meat freezer. Near the end of his life, he promised to himself to change the common negative perception on eating babies and vowed to make it legal once more. His strong will to realize his own dreams had reincarnated him as Artisan, the strongest, if not, the strongest and most obscure of all Servant classes.

COPYPASTA SAUCE (Largely Changed & Edited): Uncyclopedia

The mana-charging part won't be a problem as one can simply use a command seal and ask Artisan to ate up a bunch of emo fags with a side of lima beans and a nice cognac. Their Myspace profiles gave tremendous help in tracking them down. Hell, they hate the world and wished to die as soon as possible right? Why not make them all an hero and turn them into digestible proteins instead?